Unsolicited advice…take it or leave it

My readers have requested that I share some coping strategies for dealing with unsolicited advice from strangers or loved ones.

In the first trimester, often when people would approach me or would show their excitement for my pregnancy it would be difficult to engage nicely because of how terrible I was feeling. At that time I had not found effective ways to cope with advice and my reaction to it was negative and sometimes hostile, which made me to feel like a bad person.

More and more, I am understanding why people don’t share their pregnancy news before the second trimester. It is not only because of the risks or complications during that time, but also because pregnant women often do not have the energy or emotional endurance to handle others’ excitement or questions. Or, at least that is my experience.

There is a lot of pretty funny and sometimes still hostile ways the online community suggests to deal with the unwanted advice, however I did find the suggestions offered in the blog Dealing with Unwanted Advice particularly useful. They suggest that you:

  1. Use your poker face;
  2. Be honest;
  3. Keep your sense of humor;
  4. Be vague;
  5. Turn it back on them.

Now that I am feeling better I am happier to discuss the pregnancy and less reluctant to dismiss the advice I am given. Basically my coping strategy has been to change my reaction to people and take what they say with a grain of salt while showing appreciation for their interest.

Via Giphy

My next blog is going to talk about nutrition during pregnancy. I am soliciting your advice on good strategies for healthy eating during pregnancy. Please share if you have thoughts on this.

Thanks for reading!


5 thoughts on “Unsolicited advice…take it or leave it

  1. I like your honesty. People just don’t have filters, and they think their advice and comments are correct. Each pregnancy, baby, feeding, diaper change is different. People will always think they know best… but nobody does except for you.
    Happy to hear your are feeling better….
    I have had 3 children, and had extremely uncomfortable pregnancies…with people giving their “two cents” all the time. It stressed me out, then I learned to really laugh it off.
    I look forward to hearing about your progress. Take Care of you and your peanut. Congrats momma!!


    1. Thanks Christina, it is helpful to hear how others have coped with unwanted advice. I like that you were able to laugh it off and I will strive to do the same. I have a new respect for women, pregnant women and mothers especially. All those who have been through pregnancy while having toddlers, jobs, and various other responsibilities are superheroes!


  2. Again, congratulations! My advice for healthy eating is to do what feels good, within reason obviously. With both pregnancies, once I felt better after the 1st trimester I pretty much ate constantly. Healthy and sometimes not so healthy snacks all day long. Near the end I was actually sick of snacking but I would feel sick if I let myself get too hungry. I also ate a huge bowl of cereal before bed every night. Besides snacks I would obviously stress drinking lots of water, that’s a no brainier though.



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